MAPP Gathering #1 - Renee Trudeau

As I mentioned in an earlier post there is a web-based interview series called the MAPP Gathering. MAPP stands for Motherhood, Ambition, Passion & Purpose. The series has 9 interviews in it by experts on a variety of topics related to this mission. And I really wanted to spend some time listening to these interviews. So this week I listened to the first one with Renee Trudeau. In fact, I listened to it twice. Renee is the author of The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life. While I haven't had the opportunity to read her book yet, I plan to do so. And you can even download a couple of chapters out of her book on her website: http://www.reneetrudeau.com.

I found myself taking notes as I was listening to this interview, much the way I do when I'm in class or reading a good book. And what I discovered was that I really learned three key things from this interview - three things that I plan to continue to explore in more detail, but I wanted to share them with you.

First, Renee spoke about the idea of "creating a tribe." By this she was talking about gathering a community of other mothers. A support group. Developing connections and community to help support you in your journey as a mom. I really feel like this is strongly lacking in my world. Not to say that I don't have support. I do. I have my husband. I talk with our nanny. And rarely a day goes by that I don't talk with my mom. But as for having mommy friends... I don't really have many. (And not because I don't have friends - but because few of my friends have children! Or if they do their children are at very different stages than mine. Don't want you all thinking I can't make friends. Ha!). So I've been looking into joining a mommy group. I've looked at these a few times, but with our hectic schedules I could never commit - nor find one that was a great fit for us. But I'm going to make it a priority now. I will find a tribe.

Second, Renee talked about the idea of self care. Specifically she talked about "Core Self Care." This was a topic that I really knew nothing about. I'd heard of women using the phrase self-care before. And I think I viewed it in very stereotypical terms - manicures, pedicures, massages, shopping, etc. But Renee went beyond this. It's not about pampering yourself. It's about truly taking care of yourself so that you can take better care of your kids. Renee describes it as "tuning and responding to your deepest needs and desires." She talked about examples like hiring a babysitter for some time to connect with your spouse or just have a break, allowing yourself to have some downtime, saying no, refusing to do things out of guilt, not over scheduling yourself, eliminating critical thinking, and releasing the need to be perfect. These are the meaning of CORE self care. The manicures and massages are nice, but if you don't do these other, more key pieces first, you'll find that you leave the massage without really feeling much better.

I've really been there. I've done things like gone to get a massage. I felt like I was doing something special to take care of me. And then I came home and was still agitated and exhausted and stressed out to the max. Now I get why that wasn't working. Slipping away for an hour didn't get rid of the stress of being over scheduled and overwhelmed!

The last piece that I wanted to share was about how Renee talked about the work that we do outside of being a mom - our employment. She talked about "integrating who we are with what we do in the world." This really fits with me. I don't speak much about my work on this blog, but I do work in a field that I care about passionately. I get to engage in meaningful work that I truly believe helps make the world a better place. I feel a sense of accomplishment and like I am helping to change things for people. And that's amazing. Striving to do this should be a part of all of us because it makes us more fulfilled in our work. I'm not saying there aren't days where I wish I could give up. Or days where I don't want to go to work. But overall, I love my job because it is meaningful to me and I get to fully incorporate who I am into what I do. I hope you all have the opportunity to do that too.

Please take some time to listen to Renee's interview. I think you'll find it well worth your time. And you may take away something different than I did. Come back and let me know what you thought.