Playgroup

Last year we contacted our adoption agency and started an adoptive playgroup. Our social worker had told us how important it was for our children to be around other children who had been adopted. We, unfortunately, didn't know any other children (nearby) who had joined their families through adoption. Thus, the playgroup began. It has been such a wonderful experience.

We meet twice a month at various locations around the city. It's been a great opportunity for the kids to get to play together, for the parents to talk about whatever parenting or adoption-related topics are on our minds, and for all of us to get to see some places we may not have gone to otherwise. We've gotten some great use out of the local parks here. And we've hit children's museums, indoor play centers, nature centers, and fast food restaurant play areas. It's really been such a great experience for all of us.

Here are a few pics of our girls at the most recent playgroup.

Lorelai with her best buddy, Ducky

Lorelai in the tube maze

Logan watching all the action

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The Beauty of iChat

My husband was out of town this past weekend helping his sister move. Lorelai (being a complete Daddy's girl) was very upset by this. Most of the time she played like normal, but occasionally she would begin asking for my husband and crying. I got it. I missed him too.

Sometimes when one of us are away on a business trip, we call and talk with her. But occasionally this just upsets her more. I think this has been because she doesn't really get the idea of the phone. She gets angry that she can't see us.

Since I recently became a mac user, I have come to love iChat. We use it frequently with our best friends who live in Alaska. It allows us to spend an evening hanging out with them 4,000 miles away. We almost feel like we're actually there with them (or vice versa).

But this weekend, we truly learned the value of iChat. My husband took his computer with him and each night Lorelai got to say good night to her Daddy. Did you know that you can even kiss boo-boos virtually? Apparently it works just as well as if he had been physically present. And virtual hugs and kisses, no problem. I had no idea how well this would go over.

Of course, the big problem now is that she thinks we can just open my computer up at any time and Daddy will be there ready to chat...

Ah well, we do the best we can right? :)

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12 weeks to a healthier family

Parents.com has come out with this idea of 12 weeks to a healthier family. Each week they provide you with 4 things to do in each of the categories: fitness, nutrition, health, and happiness. We've decided to dive in and see if we can indeed become a healthier family in just 12 weeks. Go here to get your family started! They have a ton of great articles with tips and ideas for how to integrate these ideas into your family's week.

This first week we have the following goals:

1) Get outside to exercise at least 3 days a week. (Fitness)

2) Put away the salt shaker. (Nutrition)

3) Teach your kids the facts they need in an emergency. (Health)

4) Limit everyone's screen time. (Happiness)

I'm a little intimidated by some of these. First, exercising outside in the midwest is a challenge in and of itself. Right now it is freezing cold out and I honestly just don't want to go out in it! But again, it's the midwest, so let's see what tomorrow's weather looks like.

Putting away the salt shaker... no problem. I don't even use salt when I cook. And I can't think of a time when I've ever sprinkled salt on my food. This one is a no brainer for us.

Teaching my kids facts for emergencies... we'll they are a bit young for this one. Although it is probably a good idea to teach Lorelai her full name and the names of her parents. We'll get working on this one.

The scariest of all... limiting everyone's screen time. We watch a lot of tv here. A lot. Lorelai has cartoons on all day. Now granted, she is running around playing most of the time. The tv really just acts as background noise, but perhaps we could switch that out for some music... As for the adults... this is going to be tough. We like to relax at the end of the day after the kids have gone to bed and unwind with some tv. Although Parents.com was recommending no more than 2 hours a day... I think we can handle that. I mean really, do we have time to sit down for 2 hours each day? Unlikely!

Well, I'm off to make my family healthier... I'll let you know how it goes!

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It's a match!

I love board games... Monopoly, Sorry, Trouble, Candyland... you name it, I love it. Playing board games was one of my favorite pastimes as a child (often because the whole family played together). I've anxiously been awaiting the day that my kids would be old enough to participate in family game night. We're not quite there yet, but we've recently started making progress.

I ordered some items from Oriental Trading recently (a really great place for kids stuff). When I did I found a cookie-style memory game. For a mere $5.49 we have had hours of fun. Instead of traditional memory cards, the cards are round, heavy cardboard disks. Each pair is a different type of cookie design... chocolate chips, icing designs, sprinkles... While Lorelai is not quite up for playing memory yet, she loves it when I lay them out and let her find the pairs. When she locates one she shouts, "It's a match!"

Looking for matches

My little cookie monster

I think we'll still be waiting a bit, but family game night is just around the corner. I can't wait!

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Springing into spring

I'm so ready for spring. While I don't mind the snow (and I despise the heat), spring and fall are by far my favorite seasons. If I can head outside in jeans and a sweater, life is good.

Since I missed the boat on getting the kids something to wear for St. Patrick's Day (poor Lorelai had a thrown together green ensemble to ensure her no pinches), I jumped on the Easter train early. In my usual fashion (as I work and have two children under the age of 3) rather than make something myself, I headed to Etsy.com to find something cute. As usual I was not let down. I found these awesome shirts from Hang to Dry. Her Etsy shop was filled with cute things... check it out.

I ordered matching ones for the girls with their names on them. I can't wait for them to get here! Pictures will follow!

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Chewbeads

A few weeks ago, I was visiting with my mom. As we passed the baby back and forth we were commenting on how she kept trying to chew on our necklaces. Logan is teething right now, so everything she can find goes directly into her mouth. The more she grabbed our necklaces, the more we got thinking... and then Eureka! We were struck by a brilliant idea... what if there was a necklace that we could make that would be safe for Logan to chew on? Something like a teething toy necklace? We talked and talked and brainstormed ideas. We thought we'd come up with a really brilliant idea.

After my mom left, I settled down to read one of the many baby magazines awaiting my attention. And there in the first couple of pages was a pick from the magazine of the coolest new baby gadgets... including a product called "Chewbeads". Unfortunately it seems that another group of brilliant women had come up with this idea first. But fortunately, that meant I could hurry up and order one for Logan!

Mine arrived in a couple of days (I ordered the cobalt blue Jane necklace), and it is awesome.

Photo from chewbeads.com

Logan loves it. She chews on it nonstop, and I don't have to worry about her breaking it or hurting her gums. And it's even dishwasher safe. How cool is that? I give it the full Ashley (and Logan) seal of approval. So for those of you with teething babies, check it out at www.chewbeads.com.

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Talking to our daughters

This week we had a visit from our oldest daughter's birth family. They generally visit her once a month and each time they come I wonder what this visit means to Lorelai. Does she have any idea who they are? Can she even begin to understand adoption yet? Should I be doing something more?

I took the opportunity to have a toddler friendly discussion about adoption with her that night before she went to bed. We climbed up on the couch, as we do every night, to read some stories before bed. This night I pulled out a book that we don't read all that often, Tell Me Again About the Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis. The story is about a little girl asking her parents to tell her once again about the night that she was born and her adoptive parents went to go get her. It's a funny, light-hearted tale with great illustrations - it's my favorite adoption storybook that I've ever been able to find.

Lorelai points out different pictures each time we read and comments on them. She made us read it to her three times that night. Each time I would comment on another part of the story... They got their baby from the hospital, but we didn't bring you home from the hospital. We brought you home three weeks later. Your birth family brought you to us at the adoption agency and we brought you home from there. We were really excited just like this family. At one point Lorelai pointed at the baby in the book and said, "Just like me!" I wish I could be in her little head and know what she meant by that. Just like her because it's a baby? Because the baby was adopted? Because the baby is sitting with her mommy and daddy? I suspect I'll never know that one.


When we had finished reading all of our stories that night I asked Lorelai if she knew how happy we were to have adopted her. She nodded her head, although I have no idea if she has any idea what I was asking. I told her how much we love her and how happy we were they she gets to be our baby forever. I hope that overtime that sinks in. And I hope someday she truly understands the earth-shattering amount of love we have for her.

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Sharing adoption

One of the important things I have learned along the way is that adoption does not just affect my family at home (my husband, myself, and our kids). It also affects our family, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances. What I mean by this is that at one time or another all of these people have been asked questions about our adoption. How long did we wait? What are the children's birth families like? Do we still see the birth families? What did it cost? The list of questions goes on. While we get those questions from people on an almost daily basis (at the office, at the grocery store, at the doctor's office), I had no idea how often our friends and family were responding to those questions too.

Then as I was reading the latest copy of Adoptive Families, I saw a book recommendation for family and friends of adoptive parents. The book, In On It: What adoptive parents would like you to know about adoption, is designed to share a lot of the specifics with family and friends so that they can answer all of those well-meaning questions about adoption in a caring and supportive manner. It looks like a great resource and I wish we'd known about it when we began our adoption journey. Hopefully it will help many others as they begin theirs.

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St. Patrick's Day Fun!

St. Patrick's Day was always one of my favorite "little" holidays when I was a kid. Each year I would construct a leprechaun trap in my attempts to capture a leprechaun and thus claim my pot of gold. I'd spend hours with construction paper, a shoe box, glitter, and glue making the perfect lure in which to trap the tiny trickster. The night before St. Patrick's Day we would set up my shoebox (propped up with a pencil) on the front porch so that I might trap one. Of course, each year I'd go to see if I had been successful, and would be thrilled to find my overturned shoebox filled with gold foil covered Reese cups (my favorite!) along with a note from the leprechaun saying that I hadn't caught him this year, but that he had left behind some treats for me. (Thanks Mom! You're awesome!).

This year I decided it was time for Lorelai to engage in this time honored tradition. Of course, she has no idea what St. Patrick's Day is yet, so I had to lay some ground work. We started by coloring a picture of a leprechaun (123 Coloring) and a picture of a shamrock (Crayola).

Lorelai's Leprechaun

Then we spent the afternoon making Shamrock cookies. This recipe is one that I got from FamilyFun.com; although, I made it a little healthier by swapping all purpose flour for whole wheat pastry flour and subbing in applesauce for 1/2 the fat content. (I've gotta get every bit of nutrition I can in that little one!)

Cutting out cookies with Grandma

Here is my final recipe:

     Ingredients:

• 2 3/4 whole wheat pastry flour
• 3/4 tsp. baking soda
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 1/2 cup butter (room temperature)
• 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 large egg
• 1 tbsp. vanilla extract
• Several drops of green food coloring

     Steps:

• Stir together the flour, baking soda, and salt in a medium sized bowl.
• Cream the butter, sugar, and applesauce together in a large bowl. Then add the egg and vanilla extract. Mix well.
• Gradually add your dry ingredient mixture to your wet ingredients, mixing well. Your dough will be stiff.
• Add the food coloring and knead the dough until the color is evenly distributed.
• Chill dough at least 2 hours.
• Roll out the dough until 1/4 inch thick. Cut out shamrocks.
• Bake on an ungreased baking sheet at 350 degrees for about 8 minutes (or until the edges start to brown).
• Cool on wire rack.
• You may wish to add some extra decorations to them like green sugar crystals or icing.

Sadly for me, Lorelai had no interest in building a leprechaun trap. Seems she's a bit too young for this one... or she opposes imprisoning tiny fictitious characters. Either way, we skipped this tradition this year.

Lorelai

We ended the day with some St. Patrick's Day cartoons. Our favorite is the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse episode, "Minnie's Rainbow".

Logan

Hope you all had a wonderful St. Patrick's Day!

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Open Adoption in the News

It's always great to see positive adoption stories in the news...


For parental love, this newborn doubly blessed -

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Open Adoptions

Whenever people ask us questions about our adoptions (which happens all the time!), they most frequently want to know about the openness. How open is our adoption? How frequently do we see the birth families? What do our kids call their birth parents? There is no end to the questions. We are happy to answer any questions that anyone asks us because we believe that the more people know about open adoption the better. And honestly, who doesn't love to talk about their kids?!?

I recently read this article in Adoptive Families about the different types of open adoption. We are very similar to the "Garber-Walker" family in this article. We're very lucky! Thought you might all enjoy reading it and learning about some of the different ways that families handle openness.

Here's a link: Adoption - Adoptive Families

And, of course, feel free to ask as many questions as you like. :)

Enjoy!

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Tozzle

I know that I played video games when I was a child, but I have no idea how early in life I embraced this activity. I certainly remember afternoons spent playing Pac-Man and Breakout, and in later years Mario Brothers and Star Tropics. With the amount of technology in our world now, I fully expected that some day our children would want the latest and greatest game system, but I had no idea how quickly they would become addicted to video games. Lorelai (at 2.5 years old) recently discovered my husband's iPod touch. She was constantly playing with it whenever she could get her tiny hands on it (who doesn't like to push buttons?), so he downloaded a game for her called Tozzle.

 http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/tozzle-toddlers-favorite-puzzle/id306169895?mt=8

It is awesome! It's like working electronic wooden puzzles. They even make sounds (i.e., the cow moos). She can pick from a number of different options and it shuffles the pieces every time. She is crazy about it. It's perfect for when she's sitting in a waiting room at the doctor's office or getting restless riding in the shopping cart. She even tells us which puzzle she'd like to work (Mommy! The barn puzzle!) and cheers when she finishes one (I did it!). Dare I say, it's the best $1.99 I've ever spent.

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