It's official! I've moved!

My new blog, Authentically Ashley, is officially up and running. All the content from Modern Mommy Magic has been moved over there and I've settled into my new digs. Many thanks to all of you who have followed and supported me over the years. I hope that you'll continue to follow me at my new home. See you there.

www.authenticallyashley.com

-Ashley

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MAPP Gathering #9 - Kelly Rae Roberts

This post is the ninth and final in a series of posts about the MAPP Gathering, a web-based interview series on Motherhood, Ambition, Passion and Purpose. 

Here it is... the final MAPP Gathering interview. What a great opportunity it has been to listen to these interviews and hear the perspectives of all these different moms! This interview was with Kelly Rae Roberts - an artist and author and all around creative lady. (You can find her at www.kellyraeroberts.com.) And wow this interview one where I found myself going, "Me too! Me too!"

In particular Kelly and the host, Lisa, were talking about the becoming moms. Kelly talked about how being a mom wasn't something that came naturally to her. It wasn't like she just instantly knew exactly what to do and how to do it best.  Me too!  She also talked about how she felts this internal pressure to suddenly be perfect at everything. She felt like she was supposed to be cleaning everything perfectly, cooking fabulous meals, being the perfect wife, making her husband happy, doing the laundry, raising her children, working a job, etc. Me too! Suddenly she was supposed to don a cape and become super woman - the image of perfection. And this was all something she put on herself. Me too!!!

And then Lisa said something that really struck a chord with me - Perfectionism may be a response to us trying to control a situation that we have no control over. Wham! Wow did that one hit me. Yes! I have no control over being a mom a lot of the time. I can't control my children because they are their own little people with their own minds who make their own decisions! And that's scary! And so maybe if I'm the perfect mother - I clean the house, I make the meals, I go to work, I smile, I do it all, it will all work out great. No one will hurt them. They won't cry. They won't get in trouble. Birds will sing. Rainbows will appear. Yada yada yada. It all kind of made sense.

While I've definitely let go of many of those perfectionistic tendencies since my children have arrive (frankly, I've just admitted defeat!), I still find myself from time to time working on making the impossible possible. At least now I have an idea why.

If you'd like to tune in and listen to this interview, head over to the MAPP Gathering and take a listen. And let me know what you thought too.

PS) If you haven't done so already... head over to www.authenticallyashley.com and sign up to follow my new blog. I'm officially transitioning to my new home on Sept. 1 - so don't get left behind!

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MAPP Gathering #8 - Tsh Oxenreider

This post is the eighth in a series of posts about the MAPP Gathering, a web-based interview series on Motherhood, Ambition, Passion and Purpose. 

I've really been looking forward to listening to this particular interview because I'm already familiar with Tsh Oxenreider and her work at www.simplemom.net. I follow her blog and listen to her podcast regularly and am deeply engrossed in her book, Organized Simplicity, right now. She is such a great resource and full of great information. So when I saw that she was included in the MAPP Gathering, I was so excited!

One of the things (the many valuable things!) that they talked about in this interview was the idea of letting going of perfectionistic tendencies and allowing yourself to create partial solutions. An example that Tsh gave was of exercising. She talked about how she felt like if she couldn't devote her 30 minutes to exercising that it wasn't worth doing anything, when actually 10 minutes of walking around the block is better than not walking at all. So her goal was to let go of these all or nothing thinking patterns and to try to be happy with partial solutions - walking 10 minutes. I'm not a completely all-or-nothing thinker, but I definitely fall into these traps from time to time. And I'll be remembering this idea of partial solutions when I have those moments. 10 minutes is better than nothing. That may be my new mantra.

To listen to the full interview, drop by the MAPP Gathering. And be sure to drop back by and let me know what you thought.

Also - a quick reminder that this blog is moving in just a few more days (Sept 1)! You can continue to follow me from now on at www.authenticallyashley.com. Hope to see you there!

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MAPP Gathering #7 - Jill Savage

This post is the seventh in a series of posts about the MAPP Gathering, a web-based interview series on Motherhood, Ambition, Passion and Purpose. 

Wow. It's been too long since I've listened to the last one of these! Today I finally set aside some "me time" to listen to the 7th interview in the MAPP Gathering series. This interview was with Jill Savage, author of seven books, fellow adoptive mom, and blogger at www.jillsavage.org.

Jill hosts a series of conferences each year that are designed to revitalize moms and help re-energize them towards their role as moms. (You can find out about these conferences at www.hearts-at-home.org). 

One thing that Jill spoke about was the idea of slowing down. She talked about how her company doesn't function at the same speed as the rest of corporate America. She takes time off for her children. She doesn't sacrifice her family life for her job. I really agree with this philosophy. That's part of what really appeals to me about my job. I love that my husband and I get to work from home. While we have a nanny that cares for our children during the day, my husband and I get to have lunch with them or drop in for a quick hug throughout the day. This allows me to feel connected to them all day long. There are times when I'm busy for sure. There are times when I don't get to see them as much as I'd like. But I feel like I've found a great balance. And I'm always working to make that balance work for us. And that means that I won't have a high powered career. I'm going to take it at a slower pace than the rest of my colleagues. And I'm perfectly fine with that. I love my career. But I love my kids more. And at the end of the day I'm never going to say I wish I'd worked more. And I don't want to say that I wish I'd spent more time with my kids. I hope that I'll say I spent time doing work that I loved and felt passionately about, and that I spent a lot of time with my kids too.

Jill had some really great advice on how to work on this balance like only taking two responsibilities each week - one major responsibility (something you have to prepare for ongoing) and a minor responsibility (something that doesn't require as much work or is a one time thing). I'm always taking on more than I have time for and this is a great idea for me. I'm not sure I can say "NO" quite that often. But I'm going to try! 

If you're interested in hearing the interview with Jill, head over to www.mappgathering.com and take a listen. Let me know what you thought!

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Wonderful and Open

Tonight we had another really cool experience in our open adoption. We hosted a play date at our house with two little girls (and a baby) who live down the road from us. What is really neat is that these kids are Lorelai's biological relatives (cousins). And if this adoption wasn't open we would have never known that she had biological relatives living just down the street. But we do! And it was so cool to watch them playing together. I love that she has this connection to her birth family and that we are able to stay connected to them in so many ways. Awesome.

Just a quick reminder that on Sept 1, 2012 Modern Mommy Magic will be moving! Follow me at www.authenticallyashley.com. 

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Big Changes Ahead!

I know you've probably been thinking... what happened to Ashley? She's been gone for a whole month! (Ok, so maybe you haven't been, just my self-esteem needs to think you were.) Well, for those of you who aren't in the loop... I've been busy! Business travel has been crazy and then I was wrapping up a little thing called COLLEGE!!! That's right! I'm finally finished with school!!! So I hope that you'll forgive my absence as I was going crazy trying to write papers, change diapers, and attend meetings. It's been a little insane. I don't know why I thought I was Wonder Woman...

But... now I've got some more time at my disposal. And that means that I'm going to dive back into blogging again. The most exciting part is that I'm going to revamp this blog a bit. Quite a bit in fact. So much so that I'm moving it to a whole new address! Starting September 1, 2012... Modern Mommy Magic will now be Authentically Ashley. So over the course of the next month while I set up shop at our new address, head over to my new digs (www.authenticallyashley.com) and make sure to sign up to follow! That way you won't miss a thing. And you'll see that I've already moved everything from this blog over... Now I warn you, it doesn't look too pretty yet. But it's going to be awesome. Just wait and see. :)

-A.

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Which is better - open or closed adoption - PART 3

I wanted to share a blog post that I recently read regarding the Today Show commentary on open vs. closed adoption. This response is by Kathleen Silber, an expert in open adoption. I thought it was a really great response that you'd enjoy reading. And I agree with her 100%.

Check out her response here.

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